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Music

Boy wonders gone bad

Rating: NNNNN


There’s always one member of the boy band who thinks he can make it on his own. John Lennon started it. Now Backstreet Boy Nick Carter — who plays Kool Haus Wednesday (February 26) — has released his solo album, Now Or Never. Boy band solo offshoots have a tendency toward celebrity meltdowns and, often, some kind of link to Stevie Wonder. Superstitious? Maybe. Here’s the status of boys trying to score on their own.

Michael Jackson

Then The Jackson 5’s adorable little song and dance machine released first solo record, Off The Wall, in 1979, then killer Thriller in 1982.

Now Much maligned train wreck of many plastic surgery disasters. Now in the business of major damage control.

Superstitious? Michael’s duet with Stevie on Bad was called Just Good Friends.

Countdown to meltdown We’ve been witnessing it for 20 years. How much longer can it take?

Bobby Brown

Then Cute little member of New Edition singing sad little songs to the telephone man about his baby who won’t answer the phone. Released King Of Stage in 1987 and got huge with Don’t Be Cruel in 1988.

Now Fighting allegations of wife-beating Whitney Houston. Was recently taken to hospital from jail after “falling ill” while serving an eight-day sentence for a DUI conviction. We smell withdrawal.

Superstitious? Two degrees of separation wife Whitney Houston recorded the duet We Didn’t Know with Stevie.

Countdown to meltdown Too late. Maybe a rescue crew will arrive soon.

Ricky Martin

Then Lead singer for Puerto Rico’s Menudo until kicked out at 16. Them’s tha rules. Became a soap opera star as Miguel on General Hospital.

Now First English-language record, 1999’s Ricky Martin, made him a heartthrob to both gays and straights. At present nobody cares.

Superstitious? Martin shared a stage with Michael Jackson. Martin’s producer, Emilio Estefan, has been called the Berry Gordy of Latin music. Gordy signed Stevie.

Countdown to meltdown Ignore the alarm and go about your day as usual.

Justin Timberlake

Then Hottest member of *NSYNC. Britney’s boyfriend.

Now Hired Neptunes to save career by producing solo record Justified in 2002. Serial dater of older women and vying for every available photo op.

Superstitious? *NSYNC recorded with Stevie on the track Something Like You. Timberlake is also rumoured to be linked with Janet Jackson, who is Michael’s sister. (For Michael see above.)

Countdown to meltdown Take the stairs.

Nick Carter

Then Youngest, cutest, blondest and blue-eyedest member of the Backstreet Boys. A preteen’s first masturbation fantasy.

Now Wants to rock out and “express himself” with 2002’s solo effort Now Or Never. Working hard on new Bon Jovi/Journey style image. Young girl panties are drying up everywhere.

Superstitious? The Backstreet Boys covered Stevie’s All In Love Is Fair. Jive Records’ Clive Calder, who pretty much made the boys and *NSYNC, started his career by re-recording Motown tunes for Berry Gordy in South Africa.

Countdown to meltdown Code red.

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