I've got a tip for the Liberal party and all of their supporters crowding into the cramped confines of their Trojan Horse of strategic voting - if you want to win this election, go out and win it and stop asking other parties to take a knee so you can catch up and be in the race.
Jack Layton's NDP has never been stronger, and even Elizabeth May and her closet conservatives hiding behind the green curtain are more of a party than they've ever been.
So now we have the hapless Libs, cap in hand, asking us to feel sorry for a leader who has a hard time expressing himself, especially but not exclusively in English. And begging us to believe in their self-proclaimed status as the Natural Ruling Party of Canada - as opposed to magician Doug Henning's Natural Law Party of Canada - and send them out as our primary standard bearers against Stephen Harper and his Hoary Hordes.
Put simply, the Liberals haven't earned their shot.
Even if you like Stéphane Dion's Green Shift, it's clear that most of his existing caucus, not to mention provincial Liberals like Ontario's environment minister, John Gerretsen, have no faith in it and have no intention of implementing it.
Dion was even environment minister during that extensive Canadian colonic clog that was Liberal rule during the 90s and into the 21st century. They didn't do any of what they are promising now, enthusiastically and coldly slashing deficits and saving all of their best promises for Paul Martin's desperate re-election attempt after his one term of minority rule.
Now, frantic Liberals are once again making progressive pledges.
It'd all be so enchanting if they didn't have history, a history of sending Canada into a useless war in Afghanistan and of refusing to roll back corporate tax cuts, a history that saw Toronto and other Canadian cities senselessly abandoned as ruling Libs chased the Tories for right-wing rural votes.
Toronto elected an almost exclusively, ironically hued, red Liberal column throughout Jean Chrétien's and Martin's rule, yet they presided over the near-death of this city - and almost half of the Libs chasing votes here are leftovers from that era.
I'll never forget this country's Yalta photo moment: instead of Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin licking their chops over European spoils, we had the 2000 pic on Toronto's waterfront of smiling PM Chrétien with chainsaw Conservative premier Mike Harris and muddling mayor Mel Lastman.
The Three Deceivos were making a much ballyhooed promise of over $500 million to revitalize Toronto's waterfront.
Well, like so many commitments from these trading-places parties, nothing at all ever happened. They got the photo op and we got squat.
There are all kinds of architects' drawings and cool schematic models of what Toronto might some day become, but no matter how many Liberal MPs we had - hell, even a Liberal provincial government - we got none of it.
For the first time in decades, New Democrats are gaining an enthusiastic national hearing, so why tune them out now? Fortunately, in Toronto, the loose and shifting amalgam that is supposed to be progressive Canada doesn't have hard choices.
There are two kinds of races in this city: close NDP-Liberal races where you should vote for the NDP, and races where the lumbering Liberals are poised to pounce on the still unpalatable Tories of Toronto. Here you can vote for the "peace dividend" and environmentalism and be counted with the NDP without fear of electing a local Conservative.
Time to stop wringing hands and start ringing doorbells. Put away the electoral abacus and work and vote for politicians you can believe in.
This race isn't over, and as Stephen Harper attempts to outrun the crashing dominoes of collapsing capitalism, there's never been a better time to sell real, sustainable change.
I'm crossing my fingers that Canadians will see, over the two election debate nights, that the country we want is just around the corner. First choices, not failed ones, are still a real option.