A queer couple from Uganda who recently made Ottawa their home after coming to Canada as refugees have founded an organization supporting other 2SLGBTQ+ people fleeing persecution.
Meeting and falling in love was only the beginning for Stella Nakitende and Hudson Nampijja. Both from Uganda, they connected while working for the same company in Dubai. Many colleagues questioned their relationship, spreading rumours within the company, and inquiring as to why they lived together. This is dangerous in a country like the U.A.E., where homosexuality is illegal.
“We were living as roommates, as close friends, as cousins, depending on who’s asking,” Nakitende told Queer & Now.
They eventually moved to Qatar, another country with legislation targeting 2SLGBTQ+ communities. But not knowing anyone there allowed them the privacy to live more peacefully, albeit quietly, as a couple, while still maintaining the public persona of roommates.
But that peace came to an end when a colleague from Dubai moved to their workplace in Qatar, gossiping with co-workers about Nakitende and Nampijja. This led to an investigation by the human resources department of their work, who sent a representative to their home to investigate.
It was at this point that the couple considered moving home to Uganda, where queer people faced persecution, but they had family and friends. However, this was around the same time that the Ugandan government was having discussions about the Anti-Homosexuality Act. The act, which was signed into law by President Yoweri Museveni in May 2023, carries harsh penalties for 2SLGBTQ+ people who violate it. Among other things, under this legislation, sexual intercourse between same-sex couples is punishable by life in prison, while what the country calls “aggravated homosexuality” is punishable by death. Human Rights Watch (HRW) explains that under Ugandan law, “aggravated homosexuality” includes repeated sex or sexual acts with someone under 18, over 75, or living with a disability.
Deciding Uganda was no longer an option, the couple began considering where they would relocate. Canada then came on their radar, and they decided to apply for visas. Not having much faith that they would be approved, they went back to Qatar to work. But eight months later, they received life-changing news: their visa applications were approved.
CANADIAN CULTURE SHOCK
Upon their arrival, they made an inland claim for refugee status and began their journey to make Canada their home. And Nakitende explained that the culture shock was real.
“All our lives were living inside, doing our thing, but inside,” she explained. “It’s so hard. It’s so devastating. Every single day you have to practice how you’re going to act [in public].”
“We became so used to that, that even after we moved here, we couldn’t outgrow it.”
For example, when applying for health insurance through their Canadian employer, they listed each other as beneficiaries. When questioned about this by the insurance company, Nakitende and Nampijja struggled to bring themselves to say that they were a couple, as they had never before felt safe to do so. They worried about the repercussions of their employer finding out they were queer, but as time went on, they weren’t fired from their jobs, and no one seemed to care that they were a couple.
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“We don’t talk about homosexuality back home. It’s a taboo. You don’t hear it. No one says it,” she explained. “So, for example, if you live until the age of 29 and boom, in Canada, now finally you want to accept [your identity], obviously it will be hard for you.”
But now, more than a year and a half after first arriving in Canada, the couple says they have learned to live more freely. Nakitende explained that to her, being free means being who she is, unapologetically.
“To be free for me is being myself without having to explain myself,” she shared, explaining that in Uganda, most women are married in their early 20s, settling down and having children. Her refusal to do so raised many questions about her identity.
“I had to fight that war not to be married, not to have kids, without explaining that I’m a lesbian,” she explained.
But now in Canada, she and her partner are living their truth: holding hands, participating in Pride events, and kissing in public. This is something they had to learn to do.
“It’s not just coming to Canada, and you’re like, ‘I claimed asylum. I’m free now.’ It is so hard to transition from hiding and being careful to now, boom, you’re free to do whatever you want.”
The couple enjoyed celebrating Pride for the very first time in 2024, taking to the streets of Toronto to enjoy the festivities and learn more about queer history.
Eventually settling in Ottawa, they began to dream up their next big plan: an organization supporting other queer refugees and newcomers.
UNITED IN PRIDE
Earlier this summer, Nakitende and Nampijja founded United in Pride, a grassroots organization aiming to help queer newcomers find community in Canada. The not-for-profit provides people with resources like care packages and plans events to help communities connect.
Finding community is something that can be difficult for all newcomers, but it has added layers of complexity for those who are coming from a country where they are persecuted for being queer. While there are organizations supporting queer newcomers through workshops and one-time events, Nakitende says there is a gap when it comes to community building.
“It’s Canada. Everyone has somewhere to be. You can’t just cling to people,” she explained. “So, you end up going back to your shelter, into your small bed, looking at the walls, and you don’t know what to do. That can go on for so long. If you’re a shy person, you can live like that for seven years, 10 years.”
Helping to address this is where they hope United in Pride will shine.
UNITED IN PRIDE: COMBATTING STIGMA
“There are so many countries where being homosexual is really, really a big issue for the locals. So, all the people that are running away, we are building this for them,” Nakitende explained.
According to HRW, at least 67 countries currently have legislation criminalizing same-sex relations between consenting adults, while at least nine countries have national laws targeting transgender and gender nonconforming people.
In the future, the couple plans to conduct educational sessions in community groups and workplaces, aiming to combat the stigma surrounding 2SLGBTQ+ people that exists within some immigrant communities.
“It’s like you’re still in Uganda… when you go to a Ugandan event,” the founder explained. “So, a lot of people are forced to live closeted even if they live in Canada.”
This has inspired them to broaden their work beyond community building and newcomer support to education and advocacy.
“We actually have to be there out and loud,” she shared.
This includes speaking openly and honestly about their experiences and identities, creating much-needed representation of 2SLGBTQ+ Black lives.
“Listen, Hudson is a trans man, I’m a lesbian. We are both from Uganda, Africa. It’s normal. I’m breathing, you can pinch me, I’m not a ghost. It’s not a white people thing… because people have narratives from back home that LGBTQ communities [are part of] Western culture, or part of Illuminati.”
While expecting to receive pushback, Nakitende says that it’s not about the people who won’t receive what she’s saying, but those who will.
“Obviously, the negativity I expect, but I know out of 200, 20 people want to listen to me, so I’m targeting those 20 people,” she explained.“
Right now, they are based in Ottawa, but they hope to grow United in Pride to be a well-known, well-utilized resource for queer newcomers across Canada.
“So, when someone comes in, they’re able to Google [us], because that’s what we did. We came in, we went on Google [and searched] LGBTQ+ organization,” she laughed. “We want it so when someone comes in [to Canada], they can Google LGBTQ+ organizations and we want United Pride to be the number one result.”
This weekend, United in Pride will have a booth at Ottawa Pride. You can find them on Bank St.
