Of the many virtues sought by those head-hunting a new police chief, the most vaunted, I'm sure, is the determination to root out racial profiling. That's because for years our beloved men and women in blue have come under suspicion for assuming that some races are more inclined to criminal behaviour.
And cry as you might, I've come to believe they're right. Might I take this opportunity to formally say I consider profiling useful? Dogs run faster than chickens. Pigeons fly better than trout. Kids play more hockey than professional hockey players. There may be exceptions to the rule, but I dare you to argue that these aren't all generally true.
It's rather obvious that certain races do tend to be more problematic or socially disruptive than others. I know it may be politically incorrect, but sometimes you've just got to say what you believe. The facts don't lie.
As a native person, I can only look back to our long-vanished brethren the Beothuk of Newfoundland, who were driven out of existence by a certain race of people in the last half of this millennium. Were any alive today, I'm sure the Beothuk would find racial profiling a practical idea.
I look at the well-documented raping and pillaging of the British Isles a thousand years ago by an offshoot of that same northern pigment-denied population from that land across the water. Or the death of six million Jews and several million others 60-odd years ago, again, at the hand of those continental people of pallor.
The abduction, removal, subjugation and exploitation of several million Africans for this blue- and green- eyed race's economic advantage further strengthens my convictions.
Try to find a country on this planet that wasn't at some point "discovered" and colonized by these folks over the last several thousand years.
With a track record like that, you begin to understand the basis for racial profiling. I'm surprised they're not all arrested on sight. Maybe because here in Canada they tend to blend in with the snowy background too easily.
Now, some might argue that I'm being unfair by lumping all the different cultures of Europe into one big mixing bowl and, further mixing my metaphors, painting them with a broad brush. Perhaps I should be a little more considerate, especially as an aboriginal writer who has spent a career battling the concept of "pan-Indianism."
Still, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against white people. Some of my best friends.... And should I ever have a daughter, yes, I would consider letting her marry one. Provided he's not "too" white, if you know what I mean. We try to keep the raping, pillaging and imperializing down to a minimum in my family.
Though they are, as I've tried to point out, a troubled people, I do want to mention in all fairness that they can be charming and inquisitive, with good intelligence and a fine attitude toward life, and they've created some excellent literature over the years. I've also heard their pastries and handicrafts are quite fabulous.
So get off the police force's back. Read your history. Racial profiling does work. Especially for the people who do the racial profiling.