Dear Sasha,
I want to get an erotic massage in the T.O. area. It’s my first time – I’m scared shitless and want it to be awesome, i.e., with minimal contact with male clients.
Before I was married I had mostly lesbian relationships. Now, inevitably, I am girl crazy but do not want to destroy my marriage. Threesomes are hard to come by, and I just really want some female erotic attention. I’m considered hot, smart, fit, successful, cool, etc. I just have problems taking my desire and turning it into the actual moment. Where to call? Look? Help?
Jenny
Leave it to a woman to turn a professional sex exchange into a personal ad. What does “fit” even mean? Do you have basic bladder control? Good liver function? Are you not going to shart on your attendant when you come?
When it comes to remunerated sex, all you need to be, as a client, is respectful, showered and ready to pay the fee. I would say your best bet is to check out any of the in-call agencies you see advertised (try terb.ca) and ask if any of the women are amenable to taking on a female client for a massage. Massaging women can be a lot of work, and some sex workers may not be confident in their massage skills. That said, Jenny, I recently met Toronto’s premier Roman Shower spinner (translation: she’s petite and will puke on you). If she can keep a brisk business, then you should have little trouble getting some lady to massage you to orgasm.
I don’t know what your concern with men is (that they will harass you in the waiting area?), but most will be busy having their own needs attended to in the other rooms.
Dear Sasha,
I’m a 29-year old woman and have been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for four years. I love him very much and see him as a life-long partner. He has expressed the same. That said, we fight and bicker, and things are not perfect. He annoys me to no end at times. This is partly because we work and live to-gether.
But in spite of the fact that we make efforts to give one another space, I have begun, in the past few months, to feel that I really need to be exposed to new energy – someone’s other than his. I am attracted to other people with newfound intensity. I have never been into the idea of polyamory myself, though I have friends who have both failed and succeeded at it. Yet suddenly I find myself imagining all kinds of scenarios I never thought I would.
Only thing is, I am terrified to start this discussion with my boyfriend. He has always been open, never jealous (whereas I have been), and yet I have dropped enough hints to know that he would not be into such a shift in our relationship. He might go along with it for my sake (maybe), but I am scared of losing what I’ve got, which is pretty good both sexually and intellectually.
Then again, I feel I am just waiting until I can’t stand it anymore and am forced to bring it up. I mean, I just can’t imagine never sleeping with anyone else ever again. Any advice on how to bring this up without trapping him or myself in a place we can’t return from?
Energy Exposed
First of all, it’s worth noting that exposing yourself to new energy is not going to mean the end of any fight-ing and bickering with your current partner. You’ll still be in a relationship with a person you work with – a set-up that comes with its own stresses. All the little things about him that are annoying you now will still be there after you’ve been “exposed.”
Polyamory in any form typically makes things more complicated and can make things more stressful, not less. It’s not a remedy for boredom or dissatisfaction. Moreover, if you’re a jealous person, you should ask yourself if you’re willing to share, if looking over and seeing your man kissing someone else is going to be something you’d be cool with, night of and next day.
All the same, if you’re already dropping hints (can’t imagine what those hints sound like: “You know what I feel like having for dinner? More penis. Err, I mean, hot dogs”), it’s probably time to quit dicking around and sit down and at least discuss your thoughts on the subject.
Remember that this sexual energy is something you and your partner can expose yourself to in any number of ways. When you broach the subject, that might be a good first topic to tackle. What kinds of encounters would you potentially want to explore? What are some possibilities, scenarios and locations (strip clubs, swinger bars and so on) that turn both of you on?
Situation Clitical
Dear Sasha,
Everywhere I look there are naked girls and pornography, raunchy and cheap as well as tasteful and beautifully erotic, available to men.
From mega-porn to Jacques magazine, the guys have a smorgasbord of visual stimulation accessible to them.
Every time I look for erotica, I end up having to watch some Harlequin novel re-enactment or looking at pictures: juice-heads holding their hard-ons or punk/emo-themed images of naked, skinny tattooed boys (neither of which I’m interested in!).
Where can I find decent porn and beautiful men to help me cream my panties?
Hungry for Hunks
Two words, Hungry: gay porn. That’s right, man on man. This is where you are guaranteed to find the well-groomed macho studs of your dreams. Don’t knock it till you try it.
* * *
Oh, and here’s something. A while ago a woman asked about a tampon-type deal to wear for sex while menstruating. Hot Lady sex sponges come recommended by a couple of sex workers I know. “Some other girls I know just use regular sponges that they have boiled in water,” says one, “It seems like it’s the exact same thing. Other girls I know just use regular sponges that they have boiled in water,” says one, “It seems like it’s the exact same thing.”
