What to know
- More Torontonians are embracing solo dating — from coffee runs to solo dinners — as a way to enjoy the city on their own terms, rather than waiting for company.
- Life coach Shannon Tebb says building a relationship with yourself first can boost confidence and help you show up better in both romantic and platonic relationships.
- While it can feel intimidating at first, residents say solo dating gets easier with a mindset shift: most people aren’t paying attention — and choosing to do things alone can be empowering.
Not every kind of love has to come from friendships or romantic relationships. More Torontonians are embracing solo dating, and an expert emphasizes that the most important relationship starts with yourself.
Living in a big city doesn’t always translate into meaningful relationships – whether romantic or platonic. Social circles can already be formed, different interests can be a separating factor, and sometimes, it just doesn’t work.
But the city offers so many activities, and not having someone with whom to pursue your interests shouldn’t stop you from exploring and living life to the fullest.
Now Toronto asked Torontonians how they solo date in the city.
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How do Torontonians solo date?
Toronto resident Lisa shares that she enjoys taking herself to coffee shops or dinners. She shares that she’s used to doing things on her own and has even done some solo travelling. This time alone gives her a sense of liberation and happiness.
“I don’t think you should hold back just because you don’t have someone to go with… just do it yourself,” Lisa said.
That’s exactly how Toronto-based dating expert, matchmaker and life coach Shannon Tebb defines solo dating — intentionally taking yourself out on “dates” alone to enjoy your own company. Echoing Lisa, “I think if you stop living and just keep waiting for things to happen… you end up not living a full life,” Tebb said. She added that solo dating can help build confidence before a relationship.
Georgette puts this idea into play – going on solo dates even while in a romantic relationship. “I love my partner, but it’s good to have that ‘me time’ with my brain and just my personal thoughts.”
Some activities she partakes in solo-style include going to the movies, eating, working out or drinking. “I do pretty much whatever I want… Whatever I feel in the moment, I will do,” Georgette said.
How to start solo dating?
Going out alone didn’t always come so easily for some. At first, Georgette was nervous about taking the leap into solo dating.
Tebb shared that many Torontonians will overthink. “I might look bad sitting at the bar by myself. Everyone’s gonna be staring at me,” she described. But Tebb suggests the best way to combat that is to simply get out of your own head and just be present. Whether that’s by putting your phone down or striking up conversations with strangers on what drink they’re having, they can get out of their comfort zone one step at a time.
Georgette resonates with this feeling. “No one’s paying attention,” she insisted, adding “You’re doing your thing. You shouldn’t be paying attention, because it’s time with yourself.”
How does that translate into relationships?
Another Toronto resident, London, shares that he goes on solo dates all the time. “I feel like the best relationship you can have is with yourself,” he said.
Since adopting this practice, he’s noticed improvements in his platonic and romantic connections. “I think once you know yourself better, you can better treat people.”
Tebb echoed this sentiment, sharing that solo dates help boost confidence and raise social value. “You start learning about cool things to do in the city, and then you share that knowledge with friends, checking out the latest hot spot, whether it’s going to watch live music or going to a new restaurant opening.” She explained. “You also can kind of become like your own leader of creating social opportunities with friends, because you’ve kind of done that research and the work on your own. I think that will help you then formulate group things.”
Tebb lives by the saying: “You have to date yourself first.” She explains that you need to learn what you like, what interests and motivates you, and from there, you can meet someone and have lots to share.
It all starts with your mindset
Tebb suggests following less of a script, more of an intended action. “Put things in your calendar, make it a ritual. Solo Sunday is going to be my coffee on a walk… maybe it’s your monthly dinner at a new spot.”
Tebb proposes a mindset shift for solo dating: rather than thinking, “I have no one to go out with me,” she recommends reframing it as, “I choose to experience life fully.” This focus on intentionality, she adds, empowers people to embrace new experiences on their own.
