Is speaking another language in front of others who don’t understand it rude? Experts are weighing in about multilingualism and the cultural importance of it after a video sparked debate online.
Dozens are chiming in about the use of different languages online after a TikToker posted a video saying that she feels disrespected when people in her social group speak a foreign language to each other, which she believes excludes others from the conversation.
The video soon went viral, gathering several reactions from other users who both agreed with her perspective, and others who disagreed. The video has since been made private, but debates over the use of foreign languages are still ongoing.
“She’s saying in a group setting, let’s say three people are talking in English and then two start conversing mid-stream in a different language that the last person doesn’t understand, it’s rude, and she’s right,” one person said on TikTok.
“People should have the right to speak whatever language they want, however, in a group setting, if two people are using another language to exclude the rest from understanding, that’s pretty rude,” another person said.
“I’ve never considered it rude. It’s just a reminder that I need to learn a second language,” one person said.
“Unless someone is speaking to me directly I don’t give a damn what language someone speaks. It has nothing to do with me,” another person added.
Bilingual and multilingual users are also chiming in the conversation and sharing their own takes.
“How do you know if a good friendship hasn’t possibly just been started by sharing their ethnic history with somebody else?” one user questioned.
“I think the only people who have an issue with this are people who are not bilingual themselves. Because, literally, if you are bilingual, you know that when you speak to certain people who you know speak your language, it’s literally just second nature to speak to them in that language,” another person said.
“Nobody understands, as a bilingual person, the effort that you have to put into speaking a second language an entire day…Sometimes your brain gets tired, and you just want to speak…your native tongue, and it’s just something that happens naturally,” a different person added.
University of Toronto Sociolinguistics Professor Naomi Nagy tells Now Toronto that while she understands the frustration over feeling excluded or being able to understand a language, people need to comprehend the connection between language and culture.
“It’s really important that people understand that language is one of the biggest tools we have for representing who we are and constructing our identity. And for some people, what language they speak at a certain moment says a lot about who they are and what kind of relationship and solidarity they have with the people that they’re talking to,” she said.
According to the professor, people may feel the need to switch to their native languages in order to be able to better express themselves or even to feel more comfortable, while some may even do it without realizing it.
“I’ve certainly heard people say, ‘In my household, we only speak language X,’ when I’ve actually observed them speaking some other languages in their household. So, people do switch without being aware of it,” she added.
Meanwhile, Distinguished University Professor emerita and Director of the Sociolinguistics Laboratory at the University of Ottawa, Shana Poplack, says that it is common for bilingual and multilingual individuals all over the world to switch between languages while speaking with people who also speak it.
Poplack says that research suggests these individuals commonly have a “default language” with certain people they communicate with, and might feel awkward by speaking with them in a different language.
“For example, you know, you have the language that you speak to your parents and that you speak to your siblings and that you speak to various other members of your social network, and it doesn’t matter that both they and you know how to speak and understand other languages. This is your language with that person,” she said.
“Even if both of the parties speak both of the languages fluently, the language you choose to interact in has less to do with how well you speak it than with the social aspect.”
Poplack says in the context of a group that is speaking a common language, it is unlikely that a bilingual person would switch into speaking a different language to address the group, but if they are just having a conversation with each other, they would normally continue speaking their shared language, regardless of those around them.
“It’s important to understand the context because, of course, it’s the case in many places that bystanders do not wish to hear other people speaking in another language at all,” she said.
“We see this in many, many countries, and it’s certainly part of the English-first movement in the [United] States, where it’s English and English only, and people have launched complaints against others who are speaking Spanish, for example.”
Meanwhile, Nagy says she recommends those who feel discomfort in hearing others speaking languages unknown to them to understand the importance of languages, communicate their issues respectfully, and consider learning new languages.
“I think especially when people are trying to put down another person for speaking the language they choose to, it’s really important to think about the fact that it’s not entirely the speaker who is in control. Listeners also have a choice about whether or not to learn other languages,” she said.
“Or just telling the person, ‘I’m sorry I don’t speak your language and I feel a little excluded when you use it, so if you don’t want me to feel excluded, then could you talk a language that I know.’”
