What to know
- Aurora Matrix opens up about the unique challenges of dating as a Drag Queen, including balancing their on- and off-stage identities.
- Matrix and her partner, actor Matthew Finlan, spent two years in an on-and-off romance before finding their “fairytale” love.
- Dating someone outside the Drag world brought Matrix a sense of balance and understanding they hadn’t found before.
- Matrix reflects on ghosting, past relationship struggles, and how those experiences helped them recognize their true “prize.”
Aurora Matrix knows their way around ghosting, online dating and the complications that can come with dating as a drag performer. But after an on-and-off romance with actor Matthew Finlan, the Canada’s Drag Race All Stars winner says they’ve finally found the relationship they were looking for.
“It’s been a fairytale,” Matrix told Now Toronto.
Matrix was runner-up on season four of Canada’s Drag Race before returning to the franchise and winning Canada’s Drag Race All Stars.
For this edition of This is Dating Now, Canada’s Drag Race All Stars winner Aurora Matrix shared how they met their partner, and opened up more on their “fairytale” love.
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Dating as a Drag Queen
Before meeting their partner, Matrix struggled dating as a Drag Queen. They shared that dating someone who’s also in Drag can be overwhelming.
“Drag kind of takes over your entire life. So whether you’re dating a Drag Queen or just dating someone else from outside of the Drag community, you’re basically gonna be dating two people. You’re dating me out of Drag, and then you’re dating Aurora Matrix,” they told Now Toronto.
Matrix has been dating actor Matthew Finlan on and off for the past two years. Finlan, whose credits include Ghosting and Crave’s Heated Rivalry, works in the entertainment industry but outside the drag world — a balance Matrix says has been important to their relationship.
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“We’ve been together for a little bit now, and it’s been truly the best thing in the world. He’s also an actor, so he understands my world and the arts, but he’s not necessarily involved in the drag,” they said.
“So it’s a good little, like, you understand my world, but you’re not necessarily in my world, and it’s a great balance. I feel like it’s kind of the best thing and what I’ve been wanting my whole life,” Matrix added.
Matrix said having a partner outside the drag world gives them space to separate their performance life from their relationship. After a show, sometimes they simply want to “take it off and take a break” and come home to a relationship that “has nothing to do” with drag.
‘It’s been a fairytale’: How their on-and-off romance became something serious
Matrix joked they were non-committal and hard to pin down after Canada’s Drag Race.
“I was travelling, I was doing all this fun stuff, and I wasn’t ready to settle down yet,” they told Now Toronto.
But once Matrix left to film Canada’s Drag Race All Stars, they realized just how much they missed Finlan.
“Before I left, I literally told him, ‘You’re not a priority. I have to focus on Drag Race. I can’t be giving you my attention right now,’” Matrix explained.
But distance had the opposite effect. While filming, Matrix realized they missed Finlan more than expected.
“I was gone for a little bit, and I was like, ‘wait, I kind of miss him a lot. This might be a serious thing for me,’” Matrix said.
So, the Drag Queen called Finlan upon their return to Toronto and shared their feelings. Matrix explained that it was the turning point for the pair.
“I planted the seed, and it worked. I think there’s something that’s flourishing here, and since then, we’ve been together, and it’s been a fairytale,” Matrix said.
‘I need someone who is just as obsessed with me as I am obsessed with them’: Matrix on dating in Toronto
But dating hasn’t always been such a magical experience for Matrix.
The Drag Queen shared their previous experience of feeling like they weren’t prioritized.
“Biggest red flag: not prioritizing me. I need someone who is just as obsessed with me as I am obsessed with them,” Matrix explained.
They’ve previously put so much energy, love, and effort in, only to feel it wasn’t reciprocated.
“I didn’t have enough self-respect to be like, ‘Hey, this is not right. I settled for it,’ … God, I’m never going back to that because I was hurting myself more than the other person was hurting,” Matrix said.
Now, Matrix feels valued and prioritized by Finlan.
‘That’s my way of finding my prize at the end’: Matrix’s take on ghosting
Matrix joked that they’re not “foreign to the concept of ghosting,” having been both the victim and the ghoster, but that those experiences allowed them to find “the one.”
“I feel like it’s part of the whole dating scene. You go through all of that before you find what works for you, and find what you’ve been missing,” they said.
“So have I ghosted a little in the past? Yes, but that’s my way of finding my prize at the end,” Matrix shared.
