Some movies are openly, proudly gay in theme or content, while others – like the five below – are ultimately gayer than they pretend not to be. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
CASINO ROYALE (2006) – Not only the hottest Bond (says me), Daniel Craig’s portrayal of 007 as more thug than smug is also the first to suggest an interest in a sexuality other than safely straight. Case in point: the torture scene in which the naked Bond is bound to a chair (its seat removed, no less) and ball-whacked by his interrogator, the taunted and teased Le Chiffre.
With seemingly equal waves of pleasure and pain registering on his face, this scene evolves into a satisfying same sex S&M domination session, complete with happy ending (for Bond, at least).
Read between the lines:
Le Chiffre: “Wow. You’ve taken good care of your body. Such…a waste.”
Bond: “I’ve got a little itch down there. Would you mind?”
Bond: “Now the whole world’s gonna know you died scratching my balls!”
LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING (2003) – Rugged Viggo Mortensen and pretty boy Orlando Bloom may have ‘mo appeal, but it’s the epic ‘momance between hobbitsexual Frodo and hopelessly devoted Sam, complicated by the scheming, obsessed Gollum, that shapes this ring into a pink triangle. Rumour has it that a scene in which Frodo holds Sam and proclaims “I’m the King of the World!” was cut at the last minute.
Read between the lines:
Frodo to Sam: “I’m glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things.”
NO ESCAPE (1994) – Intended as Ray Liotta’s introduction to the masses as an action star, the Good Fellas actor seems to be the only one not in on the joke that this movie, set on an island prison, is actually a thinly disguised meditation on all things gay. What isn’t gay about this flick? Stuart Wilson’s campy, scenery chewing Marek is positively flammable at times Kevin Dillon’s puppy dog adoration and unrequited love for Liotta’s Captain J.T. Robbins is hysterically not-so-subtle right up to the future Entourager’s inevitable demise and no orange jumpsuits in this prison, but stylish threads ones might find at either The Gap or Northbound Leather, complete with flattering hats and/or head gear. Oh, and the Christmas party scene has to be seen to be believed. Talk about “don we now, our gay apparel”.
Read between the lines:
Marek to Robbins: “I could use a man like you! A position on my staff, perhaps…”
TOP GUN (1986) – If the title of Tom Cruise’s first mega-blockbuster wasn’t so damn recognizable, one might understandably think that it belonged to a gay porn flick. Then again, after viewing the over-the-top homoerotic volleyball scene, I’m not entirely sure that this film wasn’t intended as gay cinema. And giving the female lead/love interest (new dyke on the block, Kelly McGillis) a name like “Charlie” only confuses matters further. Or maybe it clarifies them.
Read between the lines:
Slider: “Goose, whose butt did you kiss to get in here anyway?”
Goose: “The list is long, but distinguished.”
Slider: “Yeah, well so is my Johnson”
XANADU (1980) – The Olivia Newton-John cult classic about a muse who descends to earth and inspires two gents to open a roller disco has a loyal gay following (and for good reason) but it’s highly doubtful that was originally the film’s intended target audience. Although ONJ is supposed to be a love interest for both Gene Kelly (Danny) and Michael Beck (Sonny), her role here feels more like that of matchmaker for the two men she will lead to “a place where nobody dared to go, the love that we came to know…”.
Read between the lines:
Sonny to Danny: “I don’t know the first thing about being a partner.”
