What to know
- Some best friends believe raising a child together is simpler and less dramatic than parenting with a romantic partner—and say their bond means fewer emotional complications.
- Others worry about the challenges: differences in parenting styles, boundaries, and what happens if one friend finds a new partner.
- Experts say clear communication, honest conversations, and understanding the risks are crucial before making such a big decision.
- Even deep friendships can change or end—so it’s important to consider what would happen to the child and co-parenting arrangement if the friendship falls apart.
Forget swiping for soulmates or dreaming of a fairytale wedding. Would you consider having a baby with your best friend — no romance required?
About a month ago, American actor Kendrick Sampson made headlines for stirring up a conversation about having kids with a best friend rather than a romantic partner, saying it cuts out the drama.
“We ain’t never gonna have a romantic nothing; the only thing we worried about is the health of the child,” he said on a podcast interview with Toronto-born sexologist and author Shannon Boodram.
“I would rather we have kids. It takes a village, this is the village,” Sampson added.
So, for this edition of This is Dating Now, we asked Torontonians if they too would ever consider platonically having a child with their best friend.
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‘We mesh really well’: These best friends would absolutely raise a child together
Toronto residents Liza P. and Anna C. say they would love to raise a child together.
“It would be a lot more competent of a situation with her than with a man,” Anna joked.
On a serious note, Anna explained that their friendship dynamic would help them avoid “emotional baggage” getting in the way and focus on what’s best for the kid.
“We mesh really well together, and we’ll be able to coordinate a child together,” Liza explained.
‘There are no expectations between you two’: This local also says she would raise a child with her bestie
Toronto resident Rafaela K. says she would “absolutely” raise a child with her friends.
“My best friends have really good values, and they are all women. We would probably add something really positive in this world if we raised a child together,” she told Now Toronto.
She says caring for a friend is just as important as a romantic partner — and it often comes with no resentment or sacrifices.
“You just come together and create this really beautiful human, and there are no expectations between you two,” Rafaela said.
‘It’s a bit of an odd situation’: This local says he wouldn’t want to raise a child with his best friend
Toronto resident Jacob M. says he doesn’t think raising a child with his best friend would be a good idea for many reasons.
“It seems kind of complicated; balancing parenting styles if you’re not directly in a relationship with them, it’d be kind of a difficult balance,” he said.
“How do you come to common ground with that? If it’s like that, it’s a bit of an odd situation, I think,” Jacob said.
What if the best friends enter a romantic relationship with someone else? What now?
Liza says she wouldn’t hide the fact that she has kids, and Anna added that she would only introduce the new partner once they’re serious enough.
“I wouldn’t hide it; they should just be understanding,” Anna said.
Rafaela says introducing a romantic partner to the dynamic is fine, but will always put the main focus on her child and bestie.
“When it comes to bringing values to the table, I think it should just be between the two people who decide to raise the child together,” she explained.
Jacob says it would be a tricky situation.
“Not being together in the first place and then wanting romantic partners out of that would just add a lot of drama,” he said.
Founder of matchmaking company Single in the City, Laura Bilotta says it can cause jealousy or the romantic partner to feel threatened.
“They’re best friends, they do everything together… They’re going to share holidays, go to school events together, make all these big parenting decisions together, and I think some people will struggle with that. They’re not going to be comfortable with it, especially if the boundaries aren’t clear,” Bilotta explained.
“They need to feel that there’s room for them in their life without feeling like they’re competing with the child’s other parent,” she added.
So, what’s the verdict? Should you have a child with your best friend?
Bilotta said it’s a personal choice, and though it could work for some people, you should definitely think it through.
She explains friendships can end just as much as relationships can, so consider how you’d feel if the friendship ended, discuss parenting styles, and have honest conversations.
Also consider if any of you would catch feelings, what would happen.
“What if you do get a baby with your best friend, and then one of you starts to develop these crazy feelings, and the other one doesn’t? That can be very uncomfortable,” she added.
Got a dating story for us? We want to hear it! Send your experiences to news@nowtoronto.com for a chance to be featured in a future edition of This Is Dating Now.
