It was just a joke. She should get a sense of humour.
This isn’t (just) a food industry problem.
Restaurant kitchens are intense places. The job is hot, dangerous and stressful and the hours are long. And when you put a pile of young people together, especially when they’re all trying to prove themselves, climb the ladder and show how tough they are, bad behaviour is an easy way to blow off steam.
This atmosphere makes for a workplace where staff are expected to be tough and where, in a workforce that is predominantly male, joking around often takes on a sinister edge, especially for women trying to hold their own against their male counterparts. Sexual harassment against female (and gay) chefs is the restaurant industry’s dirty little secret.
Fearing retribution, firing or blacklisting, most female cooks don’t speak out. Even once they’ve achieved positions of power running restaurants and setting the tone for their staff, most are reticent about any harassment they’ve endured.
With a bit of prodding, though, almost every female chef I’ve ever interviewed over the years has admitted that yes, it has happened to her. The stories I have been told range from propositions and groping, to an executive chef who had a pot of water dumped over her head by her underlings, to another having a knife held to her throat.
When pastry chef Kate Burnham recently revealed alleged mistreatment by three separate male co-workers during the time she worked at Weslodge, women in the restaurant industry all nodded knowingly.
Jen Agg, the outspoken owner of The Black Hoof, immediately took to social media to express her outrage and, within a day, was putting together an industry conference about sexual harassment in the restaurant business, to take place September 3 at Revival Bar.
The event, called Kitchen Bitches: Smashing The Patriarchy One Plate At A Time and related hash-tag #kitchenbitches, is receiving plenty of support from women in Toronto’s food and drink industries, but, according to tweets by Agg, no male cooks have volunteered to take part thus far, and few prominent figures in Toronto’s restaurant scene have publicly given their support.
But why, exactly, is this even an issue? In 2015, why are female chefs still regularly subject to lewd comments, groping and humiliation? And why won’t they come forward?
Like women in other male-dominated workplaces (think police or firefighters), female chefs are expected to “play” to the status quo: take the jokes and give as good as they get harass those jerks right back. Seriously – a male co-worker grabs your breasts, you smack him in the nuts. He curses at you, you swear a blue streak until he backs down. He pokes you with a zucchini, you make a comment about him feeling inadequate. It’s a messed-up way to gain respect, but it’s one of the few things that works in a testosterone-fuelled kitchen environment that is more akin to a junior-high schoolyard than a professional workplace, and the most successful female chefs in this city are all women who have made it clear that they take no shit.
This type of interaction doesn’t suit everyone, though – some people just aren’t naturally aggressive or assertive – and those not into the offensive banter or gags tend to want to keep their heads down and do their jobs without becoming the objects of unwanted attention. Women working in restaurants, as with other jobs, often have different priorities that might make it difficult to quit or report abuse – from straight-out fear of their harassers to concerns about losing their jobs and destroying their careers or being unable to support their families. And the Toronto restaurant scene is tight – “causing a stink” at one job (by standing up for herself or reporting harassment) will often follow a female cook to another gig.
Is it fixable? Female chefs taking the risk and coming forward is a good start. Events such as Agg’s Kitchen Bitches will keep the issue at the forefront. But ultimately, as with so many male-dominated industries, it will take leadership from the top and a zero-tolerance policy of abuse of any kind to make a real difference. When Burnham’s story broke on the weekend, chef Eric Wood took to Facebook to denounce the harassing behaviour, making it clear that he would not accept such actions from anyone in his employ, or his industry. Few other name chefs – or cooks – so far have followed his example, including leading female chefs.
There are many talented women in our city who could be contributing much more to the restaurant scene if only they felt safe going to work. Many find other jobs in the industry – catering, writing, running their own food businesses with predominantly female staff – but as long as they are subject to harassment and abuse, and it is not only shrugged off but condoned by chefs and restaurant owners, the industry as a whole – and we the customers – will suffer because of it.
food@nowtoronto.com | @sheryl_kirby
