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With the arrival of our first federal neo-con government, we might find our political vocabulary needs a little tweaking. Here are a few catchphrases that will enhance conversation about the new order:
The “no-fair state.” Basically, this is what happens when a country elects a “neo-conomist’ as prime minister.
The no-fair state does away with some of the more onerous baggage of social justice. Single mothers and children first. The sick next. The no-fair state is a vast employment scheme for cutters. In the future, when its cast-offs wind up dissolute and homeless, the people of Ontario will elect Mike Harris’s grandson to crack down hard on the no-fair bums because they’re abusing the system.
No-fair statesmen specialize in the use of the fuq. A successor to the faq (frequently asked question), the fuq is a “frequently unanswered question.” An unanswer is not the same as a no comment, however. An unanswer usually sounds just like an actual answer, except it isn’t.
“What exactly did Mr. Harris ask the RCMP to do at Ipperwash?’ is a fuq.
Or: How much did the Bush regime know about 9/11 before 9/11? Fuq! The recent federal election was chock full of fuqs. “Where did the money go?’ Fuq! “Mr. Harper, who contributed to your campaign?” Fuq.
Any press conference at the White House is a breeding ground, a test site for new fuqs. Press secretaries are obviously chosen for their great skill in unanswering. They take pride in being top-notch mind-fuqers.
The most sophisticated form of fuqery is spin. But too much spin and too much fuqery can lead to tailspin. Tailspin is what happens at the end of an era when things are going desperately down.
Expect some tailspin later in the year from the Bush cabal, especially with regard to life, liberty and the pursuit of weapons of mass destruction.
One of the no-fair state’s canniest cutbacks is on the qualifier “so-called,” as in “the so-called axis of evil.” After years of dis-use, there are so many orphaned so-calleds out there, the world is out of whack. This year we must resurrect the so-calleds. Fellow journalists, can’t you find a place in your broadcasts for a so-called or two? There are the so-called insurgents, the so-called majority, the so-called Conservatives and so-called collateral damage.
But don’t say the so-called war on terror. There’s a new phrase for that. Just say the wha-? on terror. Think of Mr. Bush as a wha-? leader. Or a master of wha-?
No-fair states and wha-?fare states have something in common. They’re both often funded by banksters. Banksters are like gangsters, but they wear different clothes. Banksters often work hand in pocket with neo-conomists to bring about no-fair states. In Peru, where the IMF banksters (Imfsters) briefly privatized the rain, people did not even own their own tears.
Which brings me to our health care system. It started as a one-tier system but is moving toward a two-tier system (one for each eye). Aren’t we ultimately moving toward an endless tears system? That would be a real tragedy.
news@nowtoronto.com
