What to know
- Torontonians are split: some see strip clubs as a harmless outing, while others consider it a form of cheating: especially if done in secret.
- Relationship coach Roman Mironov says the key question to ask yourself is: “If the other person’s family found out, would I be uncomfortable?”
- Communication is everything: Mironov advises couples to set boundaries early, bring up the topic gently, and speak up right away if something feels off.
Is going to a strip club while being in a relationship a red flag?
Some Torontonians believe it’s just a harmless night out, but others think it’s a boundary that should not be crossed.
A former stripper sparked a debate online, saying people in relationships should not be going to strip clubs. Many Instagram users agreed, while others said they would go with their partners or shared strategies to hide their late-night activities.
For this edition of This Is Dating Now, Now Toronto asked Torontonians and a dating expert if they think it’s okay to go to a strip club while being in a relationship.
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Are strip clubs any different than porn?
One Toronto resident, Marcela, compared going to strip clubs with watching porn.
“What are you doing there? [Are] you only watching? [What is] the reason you need to be there?”
Marcela believes strip club goers often might have the intention of doing “something more” with the person dancing, possibly even requesting a lap dance. In comparison, for her, porn is “just touching yourself” without the intention of sharing the pleasure with someone else.
Echoing this sentiment, Toronto resident Derick believes strip clubs are a place of lust, but notes that he would go with his partner.
For him, that’s morally ethical because both parties are engaging in the activity. “You’re enjoying the same thing,” Derick said.
Feelings coming into play
Coming in opposition, Relationship Coach Roman Mironov believes having a night out with your partner at a strip club is not the healthiest thing either, especially if one partner is pushing the other to do so.
“In those situations, one of the partners wants to go [to the strip club] more, and the other is kind of following them – maybe to control them or keep an eye on them,” he said, adding that feelings of jealousy can arise.
Derick does, however, judge people who go to strip clubs without their partners when they’re in a relationship. “It’s like, what are you doing as a human being?”
Another Toronto resident, D’Andre, shared that if his partner even mentioned they wanted to go to a strip club, he’d find it “weird” and would hold a grudge. “I’d take that [grudge] to the grave. I’d think about it every night,” he said.
How serious is the relationship?
Torontonian Sam thinks going to strip clubs can only become an issue if a relationship is serious.
While Mironov similarly says the length of the relationship might be something to consider, the decision might also change depending on the partners’ beliefs and values.
“If you were just one or two days in a relationship, it’s probably not a big deal. But if you are already committed… that’s definitely something you need to mention, 100 per cent,” Mironov explained.
Why do you want to go to a strip club?
Torontonian Iman questioned why people in relationships might be looking to get pleasure with someone other than their partner.
“Why do you have to go somewhere else and be pleased [at a strip club]? That’s not the right thing to do.”
She believes it’s a form of cheating. “If my partner went… Lowkey, get your ass kicked,” she laughed.
Echoing this sentiment, Mironov suggests Torontonians ask themselves: why do you want to go to a strip club if you’re in a relationship? Is it a one-time night out with friends, or are things going wrong in your relationship? If so, you should have a conversation with your partner and talk things through.
The expert’s best advice for Torontonians wondering whether visiting strip clubs while being in a relationship is ethical or appropriate is to question, “If the other person’s family comes to know about this, will that be uncomfortable for me?” Mironov said.
Should you go to a strip club in secret?
While Sam said he is not dating in 2026, if he were to be in a relationship and went to a strip club, he’d communicate with his partner.
“If I do end up making that mistake, I’d probably tell [my partner] because you need to have some respect for [them],” he said.
Similarly, Toronto resident Cordin said he would go only if he communicated his desire to his partner beforehand. He believes it’s OK to go to a gay strip club if you’re a [straight] man, or a “traditional” strip club if you’re in a homosexual relationship.
Personally, he wouldn’t go with his male friends to a “traditional” strip club.
“I don’t think I’d want to be horned up in a strip club with a bunch of my male friends… or be awkwardly sitting next to all my straight guy friends,” Cordin said. But he’d go with his female friends to see male strippers to “gas up the guys on stage.”
How to bring up the conversation with your significant other?
Mironov recommends having a conversation with the partner before going to the strip club, and suggests using AI to generate a set of questions they can discuss during the chat. .
“Things that could be considered ‘not-so-great’ in the eyes of your partner,” he said.
Once the questions are sorted out, he recommends gently introducing the subject.
He says a way to start the chat is saying: “I had this weird dream last night that I was in a strip club,” and then asking their opinion on nightclubs and strip clubs, and bringing up the question of whether it’s OK that they go.
If your partner reacts with a lot of resistance or seems closed off to discussing uncomfortable subjects, that might also be a red flag about the relationship.
How can you express discomfort if you dislike the idea of your partner visiting a strip club?
“You have to set that boundary and you have to tell them as soon as possible. Don’t wait,” Mironov said. “Don’t wait for a week or two and see how it goes… If you stop insisting on your boundaries being respected, you might be in trouble going forward.” .
He mentioned that for bachelor or bachelorette parties at strip clubs or with strippers, it’s the same concept: make a boundary.
If your partner wants to go to a strip club, does this mean the end of your relationship?
It all depends on compromise and open conversation. A fix to any conflicts that arise from these conversations can include therapy, talking to a dating coach or travelling.
“It gives a lot of spike to your relationship… You’re taking yourself out of your regular context, your daily life, and you’re doing something that’s not super ordinary. So, whenever you can find those getaways and those days are taking you out of the daily regular context of everyday life, then it has a bit of excitement,” Mironov said.
The expert highlights that going to a strip club is not a black-and-white situation, but advises Torontonians to be cautious and “keep an eye on your partner,” explaining “this is indeed a small red flag.”
