Almost Alice (Alice In Wonderland)

(Universal)


Rating: N


Judging by this soundtrack, Alice didn’t wake up in a fantastical world of talking rabbits and tea parties but, rather, a suburban mall parking lot. And instead of a goofy-looking Johnny Depp greeting her, she got Avril Lavigne on a skateboard.

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Not so much Wonderland as Wonderbread, Lavigne, the All-American Rejects, Tokio Hotel, Owl City and other formulaic teen angst purveyors take dumps on this comp, which has the distinct, foul reek of Disney marketing.

Robert Smith, Franz Ferdinand and Wolfmother offer glimpses of what this project might’ve been, but then along comes 3 Doors Down-clone Shinedown and it’s off with the heads of everyone involved in this nightmare.

Top track: The Lobster Quadrille, by Franz Ferdinand

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