Torontonians are embracing unique methods to date IRL whether through exclusive speed-dating events or an app that dissolves matches if they don’t meet within 24 hours.
In October 2021, 28-year-old Eman Abdou got back in the dating game when Toronto was still weary of COVID-19.
Abdou noticed more men in Toronto were looking for hook ups after the pandemic and attributes that trend to men having more options due to the boom of dating apps when people had limited options of meeting in public places.
“I also feel like a lot of men’s social skills suffered as a result of isolation and so maybe they didn’t think they have what it takes to be in a long-term relationship or even knew how to show up as a trustworthy partner,” she said.
Meanwhile, 34-year-old Khary Safari says dating after the pandemic has only gotten better because he’s had plenty of meaningful moments with people.
“I definitely feel that women in Toronto are a little more independent and I like that about Toronto. Relationships should always foster independence but partners should always be there to depend on one another when it really counts,” Safari said.
IS SPEED DATING BECOMING POPULAR AGAIN?
Andrea Lo, who’s the founder of Toronto Dating Hub, has organized over 80 in-person speed dating events and has talked with over 3,000 attendees. She says the pandemic undoubtedly caused people to flood dating apps.
“I’ve met so many singles who say ‘I refuse to use dating apps,’ ‘apps are not for me.’ So many don’t want to try it or have been so turned off by their experience with it,” Lo said, which is why she started putting on speed dating events that permit people to meet 20-25 people at one time.
Everyone going must meet certain requirements for each event, such as having an income greater than $75,000, starting your own business at least one year ago, has had meaningful relationships before, and lives on their own.
However, it doesn’t end there. Lo says attendees fill out a match form and receive contact information with interested matches to plan more in-depth dates. People also obtain feedback on their conversation quality, first impression, and style.
“In a big city where people are SO busy with their competing priorities and schedule, people are looking for ways to meet singles not just quickly but more effectively,” Lo said.
Lo’s events often sell out fast, but the next one is Mar. 21 for 30-40 year-olds at 11:59 Bar:Café.
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NEW APP ENCOURAGES RAPID CONNECTIONS
Another dating app focused on addressing the mixed dilemma of dating apps has started propping up pink signs all over the city. It’s called Haste, named after its quick approach to get matches to meet immediately after they swipe right on each other.
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“Most dating apps are filled with endless chatting that never leads to real-life dates. Haste forces action by setting a clear deadline — either you meet within 24 hours, or the match disappears,” Haste Founder Brian Meadows told Now Toronto.
The emphasis of meeting in-person is integral to the thousands of Torontonians who have downloaded Haste and had the quality of their profiles verified by humans, according to Meadows.
“Some users have mentioned meeting in person in as little as two hours, who have now made things official,” he said.
Meadows says Haste app users have experienced double the amount of in-person dates, or what Haste deems as “experiments,” per match compared to other popular dating apps over the past year.
Both Meadows and Lo explain that people looking for a serious, monogamous relationship are tired of liars on apps, which can range from swiping addicts, those settling for “situationships,” bots, influencers trying to promote their social media or Only Fans, polyamorous people or swingers, and or lonely married individuals.
“Many people hesitate when they don’t feel ready to date. Showing up in person to an event can be scary and takes more effort than logging into an online app,” Lo said.
Having also lived in Playa del Carmen, Mexico and New York City, Abdou is surprised to say that for her Toronto men rank the highest in terms of basic respect, courtship, and communication skills. Also, she often found they were more willing to actually pick her up for a planned date.
“It’s funny because I used to think my experiences in Toronto were the worst they could get…That’s actually why I wrote the song “No More Parties in Toronto” because some of the things men did or said to me while I was out on dates with them were outrageous – but then New Yorkers increased that tenfold,” she said.
As for trying Haste’s new approach to dating, Abdou is interested in how the app’s urgent deadline could motivate good connections to play out. Meanwhile, Safari is much more excited to meet Torontonians who aren’t “flakes.”
“If we match and you actually meet up within 24 hrs. Damn. We’re gonna be friends forever,” he said.
