REVIEW: Taron Egerton stars in ‘Everybody Wants to F*ck Me,’ a film scarier than modern-day dating

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5 / ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This review contains spoilers for the film Everybody Wants to F*ck Me.

For those of you who have floated around in Toronto’s dating scene or who have been keeping up with my writing in Now Toronto’s This is Dating Now column, you may know dating in Toronto is kind of a mess. Well, the film Everybody Wants to F*ck Me shows exactly that. 

In a world full of ICKs in dating, like wanting a hall pass in a relationship or ghosting their dates in real life  causing a dating recession, some men love to blame women for choosing the wrong guy, saying “nice guys finish last.” But are self-proclaimed “nice guys” actually “nice”? That’s the focus of the film.

The thriller/comedy Everybody Wants to F*ck Me truly shows the horrors of dating. The story follows f***boy Adam Samuels, played by actor Taron Egerton, who has mastered the art of manipulating women into believing he’s nice in a world full of not-so-nice guys.

Adam’s character gives golden retriever energy: he actually lets women speak in conference meetings and works at an all-female company; he reads feminist literature, practices yoga, and offers women saving from creepy men. Turns out, it’s all a performance. 

Adam’s true character was revealed when he was yapping about a rom-com to get a woman in bed, just to end up “politely” kicking her out in the morning. A classic one-night stand, but hey, at least he got her coffee.

However, after Adam saw a play with his platonic lesbian best friend Emma, he found another woman who caught his interest: Sofia. She was different. She challenged him, made fun of his Hinge account, and still brought him home – though her intentions weren’t so good. 

Sofia brought Adam in a weird setting. Her home was filled with weird, seemingly anti-social housemates. Still, Adam followed her into her room. There, the pair smoked together.

Later, Sofia had him say he’s a bad boy and a piece of s**t five times while being naked, until he passed out. In the morning, she left without telling him anything, so he woke up to an empty bed. Quite an uno-reverse of typical men behaviour. 

Fast-forward, Adam continues his seedy lifestyle, sleeping with a new woman seemingly every night and abandoning them soon after. But things started to become quite strange when his dog attacks his penis after having sex one night. 

Beyond his dog’s awakened sexual behaviour, every woman around him becomes turned on by him when alone in a room with him. His coworker Rachel assaulted him in the washroom, and later on while Adam is engaging in a threesome, the two women bit him. When seeking help from a client, Ruben, and sharing his experience, Ruben questions if Adam was taking drugs. The dynamic serves to replicate women who are ignored or called hysterical when they recount an experience of assault. 

Things start falling apart: he accidentally killed his dog, Alana, when she chased him in a moment of heat, and he had a viral moment calling out his coworker for assault. Instead of being taken seriously, he was turned into a viral meme, protecting himself with a penis-shaped balloon – which reminded me of Amber Heard being called Amber Turd during her legal battle with former lover Johnny Depp. 

The story keeps developing with his mom attacking him, leading to Adam recognizing a pattern and confiding in his best friend Emma. Finally, Adam gets kidnapped and wakes up in a small prison-sized room. He soon finds a book with all of his “plays” to get girls, and learns women are into him for a strange reason. He discovers Sofia had inserted modified female fly DNA’s toxic pheromone designed to neutralize predatory or deceptive men, right in his crotch area. 

But instead of being served almost as a female-repellent, he had an allergic reaction that made women attracted to Adam – hence the film’s name. 

Adam runs away from Sofia, who also became attracted to him, locking himself in a room full of flies. The flies broke the glass and started going all over him as he tried to use a scalpel to cut out the flies from inside of him – and he passed out. Thankfully, Sofia returned to help him out. 

Now, he seemingly changed his lifestyle – or so everyone thought. Adam wrote a book about his “psychotic episode”, recalling his experience – but the end gives a creepy vibe that he’s still a f***boy. He also didn’t reach out to Emma, who is expecting her first child, leaving the audience wondering if he really cares for anyone but himself.

Now as the dating columnist, I know all about boys like Adam – where do you think I get my story ideas from? And let’s be honest, Adam is an accurate depiction of the horrors many people experience while dating. 

What I love about the movie is how it doesn’t shame anyone for having sex. After all, if both parties are consenting, why not enjoy another’s body? But it shames f***boys for sexual coercion. 

So does Adam truly change his ways? Can you truly change the heartbreaker? That’s for you to find out.

Movie lovers can check out Everybody Wants to F*ck Me when it hits the theatres on an unconfirmed date in 2027.